today started like any other ordinary day. who would have thought.
we were up as usual at half past five, i made my husband his breakfast, packed his lunch, cuddled in the couch for a few minutes while we watched bbc breakfast before he left at half past six on his cycle.
it was a very foggy morning, very chilly but kj was very cheerful nonetheless. we kissed and hugged as usual and i waved goodbye until i could no more see him, shrouded in the thick fog ahead.
i went back inside, cleaned up the kitchen, pushed out the green bin to the curb for collection, and sat in front of the computer while i plan what to eat for my breakfast.
thirty or so minutes later, the doorbell rang. i thought it must be his friend R, who had food stored in our freezer two days ago. i was shocked to see from the guestroom window that it was kj on the door.
before my mind could find an answer to the many question marks flooding in, i was already opening the front door for him. he looked normal, a bit wet from the fog, and a little flustered or so it seemed.
"i had a little accident"
and i could not remember anymore what i did next. i was flying all over the house, peeling off my pyjamas and throwing on clean clothes on my shivering trembling body, cleaning him up, packing an overnight bag with his things, and then calling a taxi for the hospital.
he didn't even want to go to the hospital, and would rather wait for the clinic in our town to open. but i wouldn't hear any of it. i called a taxi, and in 15 minutes, we were sitting in the emergency reception area of the hospital.
the day flew by with a series of tests. i remember almost fainting in the emergency room, feeling claustrophobic in the small room with the voice of the doctor firing off routine questions, the shock of kj's accident, my empty growling stomach. i had to crouch beside the small bed where kj was sitting, and remind myself to breath in and out, slowly.
the day was over before we knew it. he had general anesthesia for some scope they did inside his body while i went home to cry all the pent-up and choked up tears i had saved throughout the whole ordeal.
i went back to the hospital two hours later, and he was awake already. maybe tomorrow he's coming home, though i haven't spoken to the doctor yet. but it seems like so far, so good, only he has to stay home for 2 weeks to recuperate well. furthermore, he's looking well and good already.
i am so tired, the events of the day still has to sink in to me. i was home again around 9pm tonight and i was crying while opening the front door. it's so cold to come home alone.
though kj is not seriously injured, i could not explain the fear and shock that i felt today. it's difficult to keep strong and brave when inside me i am so scared. so scared of the thought that it could have been worse and i could've lost him.
visiting hours tomorrow start at 2pm, so maybe we'll be packing home too at the same time. hopefully.
i have always loved the quote, "when i come to the end of my rope, God is there to take over." today definitely, i was at the end of my rope. i have no one here to turn to, except my faith. knowing that God is in control of our lives, i can stop pretending i'm strong and just yield my fears to Him.
when you're alone in a foreign country, and something like this happens to the person you love the most in the world, your panic and anxiety can overwhelm and drown you. so until my husband comes home with me from the hospital, i will go on to cry my tears and pray my fears.
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on a happier note, kj was sent home the next day, which was friday last week. the first few nights and days were quite difficult, for him the most what with pain and coping with the tubes. but we managed to pull through with lots of laughters of relief in between. next week thursday, we're back to the hospital again to have his tubes removed. without going through the gross details, kj the husband is recovering very well, and will be back to work in 2 weeks time. i'm still shaken up a bit, and i could still catch him wincing whenever the memory of the accident flashes back. but over all, this week has been wonderful, with sunshine and lots of books, cuddles and snuggles, and movie marathons.
so mates, i'm sorry if i would be a bit away from the blog, i need to nurse back the husband back to peak of health. i am online everyday and reading comments, but unfortunately, i couldn't go a-visiting blogs yet. i will keep up soon as everything's running healthy on my neck of woods here.
lastly, i would like to thank the doctors, nurses and staff of the hospital. for such a difficult circumstance for us, they made our hospital experience as comfortable as we could have asked.
to everyone, be safe! God keep you! happy weekend!
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